Sunday, April 1, 2012

Romney Drops out of Race, Endorses Santorum

I posted this on my blog on Forbes.com on April Fool's Day and they pulled it down. 

In a surprise move, Mitt Romney announced today that he is ending his presidential campaign and throwing his support behind Rick Santorum. The move shocked observers, including Senator Santorum, as Governor Romney seemed poised for a decisive victory in Wisconsin.
The governor, however, said he concluded that he has “no chance” to win the general election in December and that a Santorum candidacy in 2012 would be in the “best interest of the party.” He explained, “It will save time. As many observers have pointed out, my defeat in 2012 will be interpreted by the party faithful as evidence that our problem is that we’ve become too pragmatic and moderate. In 2016, we’ll ‘correct’ that and nominate some right-wing nut and get demolished in the general election. It’ll be like Goldwater in 1964. I don’t want to wait until 2020 to get my party back. I’m all about efficiency. Let’s get our butts kicked now and move on.”
When asked if he was worried that a Santorum thrashing in 2012 would also cause GOP losses in Congress, Romney said, “sure, but many of the losers will be those Tea Party nuts. If they go back home, Congress may actually be able to get some work done for the American people.”
The governor also said that he “wasn’t really troubled” at the prospect that a Democratic Congress and President Obama would guarantee the survival of the president’s health reform. “Look, I invented Obamacare and I’m proud of it. If I’d been the candidate in 2008, that would have been my signature issue, and I’d have won. 98 percent of people in Massachusetts have health insurance. It’s ridiculous that my party thinks it’s just fine for 50 million Americans to lack health insurance, access to preventive care, and all that. We can spend the next four years thinking about how to improve on health reform, rather than sabotage it.”
Senator Santorum said that he was “gratified, I think,” at the governor’s endorsement.
Newt Gingich pointed out that he is still in the race and expects to prevail at the GOP convention in August.
April 1, 2012

30 comments:

  1. I loved this. I guess those folks at Forbes don't have much sense of humor. A plus for me, though. I can comment here, which I couldn't at your Forbes site (because only subscribers are allowed to comment). -Jean

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  2. The comments at Forbes are gone anyway. Thanks, Jean. This has turned into a really strange day. I can't figure out whether it's my best or worst April Fool's joke ever.

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  3. Hmmm. Maybe this really is a good idea.

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  4. I think it is FUNNY!!! I posted a similair thing about Ryan Braun the baseball player. I have a facebook page with 65,000 baseball fans. You would have thought I pushed the guy off the click with the responses from my article. I am glad to see other people were having fun with the day as well! Here is my article that almost got my lynched http://www.brainathlete.com/move-peter-rose-ryan-braun-suspended-gambling-baseball/

    Only after the outcry did I add the sentence at the end...Happy April Fools :)

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  5. The Forbes people and Romney were fine with it, but when Santorum discovered it was a prank, he was furious, "This is Bull****!!!"

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  6. This was hilarious. Like a caricature, it's funny because it's based on reality.

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  7. Replies
    1. I think so. The main problem is that the Google News algorithm just picks things up based on headlines, and then other sites replicate the headline without actually looking at content.

      Delete
  8. http://gawker.com/5898134/legitimate-news-source-ditches-credibility-for-april-fools-fun?tag=april-fool.s

    Hahahahahahaha!

    Although the Onion still has you beat ...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#The_Onion_taken_seriously

    The Gay Recruitment Drive is still my favorite article.

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  9. No one could've believed this. You definitely got the short end of the stick.

    And by the way, I like the blog's template.

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  10. Very enjoyable. No surprise that Steve's organization missed the satire. Those people have no sense of humor anyway.

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    Replies
    1. :-) He was several times an unsuccessful GOP candidate, so may find the humor especially unappealing.

      Delete
  11. Thanks for all the positive feedback.

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  12. This is how misinformation is spread. Congratulations on contributing to the problem.

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  13. hilarious. apparently, some folks don't have a sense of humor -- or discernment.

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  14. Love it! Borowitz had a similar story: http://www.borowitzreport.com/

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  15. Sorry Professor, your's was the second best April Fools Joke on Mittens. Yahoo ran a story stating that to combat the notion that he was 'too stiff' Ann Romney thinks they should "unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!"

    Wait, that was put out on the second? And wasn't a joke?

    Okay, technically I guess you do win the best April Fools post on Mitt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. Yes, it is hard to keep up with that jokester Ann. :-)

      Delete
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